How To Talk To Children About Competitiveness

Learn how to talk to children about competitiveness so that they can learn to compete in a positive way that is more useful than harmful.

Teaching children to be good competitors may seem like a difficult task. That is why we would like to take this opportunity to give suggestions on how to talk to children about competitiveness.

Competition is an integral part of our society. For this reason, we also tend to encourage our family members to do so. But what happens when children are no longer able to enjoy their after-school activities such as sports or even playing?

Learn more about how to deal with this and other challenges in the following article.

How to talk to children about competitiveness

Before we go into detail about how to talk to children about competitiveness, let’s first define the term itself. Basically, we can say that competitiveness means wanting to achieve something that goes beyond what you trust yourself to be. As you can see, competition doesn’t mean outdoing others. Rather, it’s about something personal.

Healthy competition vs. toxic competition

Good competitors not only know how to win, they also know how to lose. They understand that learning is part of the improvement process and can envision future triumphs.

Toxic competitive behavior, on the other hand, is only concerned with outdoing others. In this case, it’s all about gaining superiority and believing that nothing can be gained from defeat. Then all that losing does is frustration and other negative emotions.

So what do you wish for your children?

Undoubtedly, it’s probably the first option. Good competitors not only enjoy the result, but also the process, the journey. That’s because the outcome isn’t the most important thing to them.

When children only care about winning or losing, when their only concern is to outdo others, they develop a toxic relationship with competition. And this toxicity prevents them from learning, enjoying, and having fun. This is why it is so important to know how to talk to children about competition.

Competitiveness: ideas to promote it in a positive way

The first step in turning children into healthy competitors is to talk to them. Your little ones need to understand that it’s not the bottom line that matters, but the efforts they put into achieving their goals. Therefore, parents and other adults need to set a positive example. If you have a healthy competitive mind yourself, your children are more likely to develop a healthy competitive mind too.

Discuss this topic with your children and explain to them that everyone wins once and loses once. For example, tell them about an experience from your own life and talk about your feelings. Your children need to know that it is normal to feel frustrated after defeat. However, these feelings shouldn’t take away the fun.

Below are a number of ideas that will promote healthy and fair competition. These suggestions will help your children develop into good competitors.

1. Competitiveness and personal goals

In order for your children to grow into good competitors, it is important that they have goals. The problem is, we often tend to focus on the wrong things.

The focus should be: “I want to do my best” and not “I want to be the winner”. This small shift in a child’s mindset will rid them of guilt if they don’t win. For example, let’s say your child is walking. So the goal should be to improve your own personal speed instead of just outdoing the other runners.

2. The importance of exertion

In every area of ​​life, the most important thing is that we do our best. Personal endeavors are worth a lot more than victory and that is what you need to emphasize to your children.

If children try hard, they will improve too. And nothing is more important than this development! Indeed, this is the real victory: getting better every day, even if we don’t always win.

3. You have to make mistakes to learn

As a child, I’m sure someone told you how important it is to learn from your mistakes. Indeed, the best way to learn is to make mistakes. If we never make mistakes, then we never improve.

4. Focus on yourself

In order for children to enjoy activities, they need to look away from the “price”. Winning shouldn’t be the reward, but rather an effort to have fun and learn. Help your children live and enjoy each experience so that they can enjoy it and compete in a healthy way.

5. Show your children that you are proud of them

Children need the unconditional support of their parents. They need to know that they are on their side. No matter what result they achieve, you love them and are proud of their commitment and perseverance.

Don’t be one of the parents who sit on the sidelines and yell at their children for a goal. Avoid situations where your child may feel pressured.

Finally, remember that you too have to be a good competitor in order for your child to become one!