Difficult Children Hide Emotions They Cannot Express

Because of their insecurity, difficult children seek recognition for their actions. It is important to offer him emotional strategies to improve self-esteem.

Difficult children hide emotional chaos, which often manifests itself as anger and disobedience, which parents or educators usually find difficult to deal with.

Punishments or screams are not the solution here, because they usually increase the child’s negative emotions, frustration and low self-esteem.

It is not always easy to know why some difficult children are  more complicated. Regardless of the reasons, it takes a lot of understanding and special attention to help the children.

In this article we would like to invite you to reflect on this topic.

Difficult children often ask for more

Difficult children often do not listen, disobey, and often overreact in certain situations. Often this creates a painful vicious circle, the relationship suffers and tension, fear and tears are the result.

Many parents wonder why. They believe they are not doing their educational role properly and often attribute the problems to their own mistakes.

But before this leads to frustration, one should try to implement various strategies to ease the situation.

Accept that your child needs and demands more

No child is like another: some mature faster, are more receptive and more independent.

• Siblings are also different from birth, some need more attention, some babies cry more often, sleep less and are more moody than others.
• One has to learn to understand that there are children who simply ask for more, need more support, more calming words and more security.
• Feelings of guilt are out of place here, education is not always to blame for everything.

What is in your power, however, is an appropriate  response and attitude towards your child’s needs, a lot of patience, empathy, effort and a lot of affection.

The emotional world of a difficult child

Adults too often find it difficult to understand or come to terms with feelings and emotions. This is even more difficult for a child. That is why it is important to know exactly what the basic needs of a difficult child are.

• A difficult child seeks approval in every action. These are very insecure children who always need reinforcement. If they don’t get it, they’ll feel misunderstood and frustrated.

• Your low self-esteem causes jealousy. They seek attention in order to be comfortable. They experience their emotions, such as fear or loneliness, much more intensely.
• As they get older, insecurity and lack of appreciation turn into anger and exaggerated responses that are really only about fear, sadness, and grief.
• These emotions must be controlled, to have to the children  Strat learn egien, so that they improve their self-esteem and deal with their feelings.

Keys to Help a Difficult Child

The power of positive reinforcement

Many parents don’t understand how positive reinforcement works, but it’s simple:

• Positive reinforcement does not consist of a hug when a child has not acted correctly. This consists of not punishing or yelling at them  as this will trigger a negative reaction from the child.
• We should approach the child and ask why they acted this way. We should calmly explain to him that it is incorrect and why. And then we should also explain to him how it would have been right.
• And finally we should give him the positive reinforcement: “I trust you!”; “I know you can do better!”; “I support you, I love you and I expect the best from you.”

Give him trust and opportunities, draw boundaries

The child should understand from the start that there are limits. That we have to fulfill our obligations in order to have rights. This is the case for adults and for children as well.

• It is important that children get used to habits and routines and that they know what is expected of them.

Difficult children need security and when we provide them with a structured environment in which positive reinforcement has priority, we help them feel safe.

• Give the child confidence, convince them that they are able to cope with many things. Give him responsibilities to increase his self-esteem.

The importance of emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence should not be missing in the upbringing of our children. It is important to help them identify their feelings and emotions and to be able to express them in words.

From an early age you should get used to expressing yourself emotionally. You should also be able to put into words sadness, anger, fear, etc.

This is how you can organize your emotional world. Of course, children also need their parents’ trust and closeness.

But we should never judge or ridicule what they tell us. We should always be receptive and facilitate flowing, pleasant and friendly communication.